‘Tsk-Tsk, Catherine Zeta Jones’ Va-Jay-Jay’ + Other Celebrity News No One Cares About

Thanks to Mr. Michael Douglas, the media have been granted the opportunity to repeatedly use the word “cunnilingus,” which is a word with an unnecessary amount of Ns and also known as -- well, Google it. Or maybe don't, if you're at work.

In case you're confused (about what I'm getting at, not how to pronounce that word), Douglas recently blamed his throat cancer on his wife’s and past lady lovers’ hoo-hahs.

That’s right, apparently throat cancer can be linked to HPV, which is found you-know-where. A joke about this being a Fatal Attraction would be too easy right now.

But enough about Michael’s mouth adventures. Let’s take a look at what else is going on in celeb news this week.

• The youngest Hanson brother is reproducing yet again, which is nice because he will have approximately 7,399 cousins to play with.
• John Krasinski and Emily Blunt have recently been spotted smiling at the airport. And wait, there’s more. They might have been laughing too.
• Charice, a former star on Glee, recently came out as a lesbian, which is cool and all, but since when was anyone on that show straight?
• Remember that time when these two were on a show but neither won and neither did anything with their careers and no one knows who either of them are? Well, they're getting MARRIED! Aww.
• Game of Thrones gave the entire nation PTSD (Fair warning: The link contains spoilers!).