Top 10 Things NOT to Do On St. Patrick’s Day

It’s Saint Patrick’s Day! And it’s Saturday! And the weather is amazing! That sounds like a recipe for disaster. So, to keep all the celebrations in check, I’ve compiled the following list to help you make it through the day:

10
Don’t skip breakfast
I don’t care if your eggs are green and you’re enjoying them with a cup of coffee spiked with Bailey’s. You need food in your system. And a lot of it.
9
Don’t forget the Sun Block
Sure, it’s March 17 but it feels like summer. So you’ll most likely be out in the sun for hours at a time. And, if everyone’s Irish today, that means you’ll burn. Badly.
8
Don’t fight
You’re going to get your ass kicked. You’ll swing and miss. It will be funny for everyone around you, until you start bleeding from hitting sidewalk.
7
Don’t take pictures next to or with policemen or police cars
They’re not amused. And whatever you do, DO NOT try to pet the K-9 cop.
6
Don’t drunk dial anyone
Not one person. I don’t care if it’s your mom’s birthday. You’re probably not going to be making sense and she doesn’t want to hear her baby slurring.
5
No sexting either
Ever. You’ll regret it. Maybe not tomorrow, but definitely come Monday.
4
Don’t ask to see someone’s shamrocks or leprechaun.
It’s St. Patrick’s Day, not Mardi Gras.
3
Don’t pee in the street, parking lots or shrubs
Or at least try your darnedest not to. No one needs to see your Irish curse.
2
No brainer here: don’t drive
I don’t care how “fine” you feel. You’re drunk and you know it. And the cops know it. They’re like Santa, they know if you’ve been bad or good.
1
Don’t drink green beer
It may look cool, but don’t drink green beer. It will look like you did the deed with a leprechaun. Plus, you’ll poop green. Really.

Filed Under: St. Patrick's Day

Categories: Lifestyle