“Let’s Talk More Sh*t On Miley Cyrus” And Other Celebrity News No One Cares About

Where to even begin. Let's start with this picture, which perfectly sums up many's reaction to Miley's VMA performance.

If you've paid any attention at all to the media this week, you know by now that Miley Cyrus officially traded in her Disney days for a bunch of STDs (probably) at the VMAs on Sunday night. There was a lot of tongue, twerking, crotch-grabbing, creepy teddy bears and awkward foam finger touching with Robin Thicke, who is basically old enough to be her dad (which wouldn't be anything new, would it?).

Billy Ray called Miley's crotch enthusiast show "a blessing," and Miley's director said that her tongue was "misunderstood." So, there's that.

You know what? It's better to just see for yourself:

Besides Miley embracing her va-jay-jay, here's what else happened this week:

• Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas are finally calling it quits after a rough couple of years. I guess blaming throat cancer on your wife's vag isn't the key to lifelong happiness.
• Amanda Seyfried and Justin Long are dating.
• Alec Baldwin and his yoga instructor wife, Hilaria Baldwin, welcomed a baby girl. Here is a pic of Alec holding her. And here he is with her on her first day of school. Here is he with her at the prom. And here he is with her on her wedding day. Aww, how cu-- WAIT A SECOND.
• You'll never believe this, but Hayden Panettiere has BANGS now.
• Kate Middleton has reportedly "hardly done anything to lose baby weight" but looks amazing. Totally relatable for all women!
• America's dream couple apparently went on vacation together.