‘Justin Bieber Peed in a Mop Bucket’ And Other Celebrity News No One Cares About

The Biebs is at it again -- only this time he got wasted, urinated into a mop bucket and yelled, “F*ck Bill Clinton.”

The charming under-ager hurried to apologize to Bill, and Bill forgave him because, well, everyone knows that Bill understands a thing or two about mistakes. Biebs tweeted later to thank the former prez for being so understanding and then tweeted his fans some words of wisdom that went like this:

In life u will make mistakes and people will try to tear u down…but u gotta stay positive. Stay strong…and learn to be better… and… always live to serve others and The Lord. #growingeveryday

Now seems like an OK time to point out that this tweet received 95,000+ retweets.

And with that, let’s move on to the rest of the celeb news from this week.

• Kate Middleton’s go-to pregnancy craving is vegetarian curry. Vegetarian curry?! Please, Kate. We know that behind closed doors you’re stuffing your face with macaroni and cheese pizza and pickle and peanut butter sandwiches.
• Halle Berry and Oliver Martinez are reportedly sneaking away to get married this weekend. This will be spouse #1 for Oliver, and spouse #3 for Halle.
• Adam Lambert is joining the cast of Glee, where pop music goes to die. Or to be born again? Or to die and then be born again into even worse renditions than the originals?
• Jesse Eisenberg and Mia Wasikowska are the most uncomfortable-looking couple since ever.
• Britney Spears' kids are now 19 years old. Not really, but WEREN'T THEY JUST BORN LIKE TWO YEARS AGO?
• Paula Deen fired her legal team and then called them the “n” word. JK, she just fired them.
• Amanda Bynes is still acting f*@^ing weird.