Who has two thumbs, might sign a rap deal and is really mean to her dad on Twitter? It’s the former Nickelodeon child star and latest celebrity nutjob, Amanda Bynes!

CEO of Chinga Chang Records, Daniel Herman, wants to sign Bynes because he claims that she isn’t “crazy” or “on drugs” but that she’s simply “hip-hop!” and “talented!”

Sigh. Can we just take a moment to pause and remember her like this?

And this?

Here’s the rest of this week’s celebrity news that no one cares about (except that you really do):

  • Jane Lynch and Dr. Lara Embry, who were married for three years, are calling it quits, which is sad, but the fact that they're getting a divorce means that they were able to get married in the first place, which is cool.
  • Joel Madden was caught with weed in his hotel room, to which Hollywood reporters and spectators replied, “Joel who? No seriously, who is that?”
  • Sophia Vergara reportedly announced that she sometimes has “trouble fitting into clothes.” The problem area? Not her hips, thighs, stomach or even backside -- it’s her chest that causes her the most trouble. TOTALLY RELATABLE. Stars, they're just like us!
  • If there’s anything this world needs, it’s less violence, more jobs, and a healthier ecosystem. JK -- it’s another reality show! Pregnant and Dating is the title of one of the latest reality shows to hit your TV, starring five glowing women just looking for love (and maybe a baby daddy?).
  • Bill Clinton was named Father of the Year, and Hillary Clinton joined Twitter