Why I Think Bean-Town Sucks

Many of you may not have heard of the MLL – Major League Lacrosse – but it does exist. I hadn’t heard of it before last week either, so don’t feel bad. And I only know of it because I have a friend who plays in it. The short story is that it’s an outdoor men’s (of course) lacrosse league.

I’m giving you one guess to try to figure out who won the championship. One guess. If you guessed Boston, you’re as bitter a sports fan as I.

Normally, I wouldn’t care. I’d even be happy for my friend. (He plays for them and even scored the game-winning goal. He’s hot, too. But not like that matters. Especially since he’s dating my uber hot friend. But I digress.) It’s just ANOTHER championship for a city that seems to be having it all when it comes to sports.

Most of you know of my deep hatred of the New England Patriots. I loathe them. I don’t think I can hate anything more than the Pats, Tom Brady and “Hoodie” aka Belichick. And it’s not just because they manhandle the Bills at every chance. It’s because they’re cheaters. They’re whiners. They’re bullies. And every sports announcer loves to suck their proverbial…you know.

In the past decade, Boston teams have cleaned up. They’re the best of the best. Now that even trickles down into the not-so-well-known leagues. And, to take it one step further, when Hurricane Irene flooded the coast, she tortured poor little Vermont and left Boston relatively unscathed.

For this Buffalo gal, that’s not cool. (What did Vermont ever do wrong?!)

It pains me to be happy for my friend. It pains me to even be happy that the Sox beat the Yankees (second most-hated team) earlier this week.

The bottom line is this: Someone needs to take Boston down. I can assure you it won’t be the Bills. (But wouldn’t that be awesome?!) And to make it a little sweeter, I’ll give $100 to the first person who rips out a clump of Tom Brady’s disgusting mane.

Go Bills. Go Sabres. Go Bandits. Go Bison. Go away Boston!