Every night this week, our TV has been littered with Christmas movies. It’s awesome. I can easily name 10 Christmas movies that I can watch over and over again.

But all this Christmas spirit has me wondering: Who invented Santa? Think about it. What is Santa’s most beneficial purpose?

To keep kids in line.

It’s true. Some parent at their wit’s end probably invented jolly ol’ Saint Nick just to get a “get out of jail free” card for a month and half per year. I mean, it’s genius, really. It’s the one time of year when a parent’s empty threats actually hold some weight.

“You better behave. Santa’s watching.” And you instantaneously see the kids crap their pants. Now, parents have taken it a step further, with the Elf on a Shelf. A stuffed doll sent to spy on you for Santa. Amazing!

I always say I want kids around this time of the year. Sure, they make Christmas morning a lot more fun, but they’re also a lot easier to deal with.

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