Weather Puts Pond Hockey Tournament in Jeopardy, but Jack Says Game On
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The Labatt Blue Buffalo Pond Hockey Tournament is in jeopardy because of the warm winter. Luckily organizers have a contingency plan to save the popular winter tournament. We don’t no what they plan to announce at tomorrow’s press conference, but the brainiac’s here at Jack FM put our heads together to save the popular event. What about a huge street hockey tourney? Think Gus Macker in winter.
City crews could plow the streets in an around Niagara Square (which might be a first) and build a bunch of small street hockey rinks. A downtown street hockey festival would have the same ambiance as the pond hockey tourney. The powder keg festival would still be up and running, serving as a perfect compliment and you don’t have to give a Western New Yorker much of a reason to drink beer.
Now this needs to be a genuine street hockey tournament. So here are Jack FM’s suggestions. If you shoot the ball wide, you have to chase it. Even if it means running from Chippewa to Allen. You shot it. You have to get it. Unless your opponent wants to gain the upper hand and race you to the ball. If he gets there first, sorry, it’s his ball. But he has to stick handle past you to a safe check point.
One of the things I’ve never liked about the Pond Hockey Tournament is that there are no goalies. Not in our street hockey tournament. Goalies are not only required, they aren’t allowed to wear masks. That’s the way we grew up playing the game. It wasn’t a street hockey game unless the goalie took a head-hunter shot to the head with a frozen orange hockey ball and went home crying to his mother. Street hockey is was a war of attrition.
Another problem with the pond hockey tournament is they use these six inch-high, two foot wide hockey nets. That’s not hockey. You want to see the poof of the net, when you put it top shelf. Our Street Hockey tournament would have real nets. Ok, maybe not real nets. We realize that’s an expensive under-taking for the city, so every team would be required to bring an old blanket and some bricks that we can wedge between two garbage cans. Better yet, we can raid some of those abandoned city houses, find some old couches and fashion the goalie pads ourselves. Now that’s old-time hockey, aye.
And while the streets would be plowed for our tournament. They would still be open. There’s no traffic downtown on a Sunday anyway. If a car’s coming, you pick up your net and let them go by just like in Wayne’s World.
Sure, Mother Nature hasn’t cooperated so far this winter. But we say “Game On!”. Hopefully at tomorrow’s 10 a.m. press conference, organizers of the Labatt Blue Buffalo Pond Hockey Tournament concur and we hope they take our suggestions. Or they could just turn it into a beer pong tournament. Hmm, let us think about that one.