Today, I stumbled upon IMDb's list of the top 250 movies of all time. Although I knew I wasn't a movie buff, it seems as though I've been living in a cave. No wonder it's so dark all the time.

Out of the top 250 I've only seen 26, and not one from the top 10. Yes, I've never seen either of the Godfather movies, never seen Star Wars, never seen Fight Club. Your insults mean nothing to me.

The top movie of all time is The Shawshank Redemption. I've never seen it, but I know that it has Morgan Freeman in it, so I'm sure there are some great montages with his narration. The only whiff I've had of the movie is the parody Family Guy did of it, where Peter escaped from prison through the sewers on enchilada night; I can only assume this is 100% accurate. In my freshman year of college someone did a presentation on the film, but I don't remember a word they said; sorry to lead you on.

The number six movie on the list is Pulp Fiction. I always here people talk about this film and I usually nod my head acting like I've seen it, I haven't. I've watched the youtube clip where Samuel L. Jackson recites some bible verse then shoots the two guys. John Travolta is a lead character so I'm guessing the rest of the film is some huge musical score. A musical is number six on the list? People must really like singing and dancing.

The Lord of the Rings series appears a few times on the list and I feel like I've seen parts each movie, just not any one in full. I really like the parts where the guys walk around for twenty-five minutes, gets me every time. Each movie is seemingly about a ring, so I can only assume that the characters are really vain and enjoy jewelry. I just can't believe they could stretch that plot for so many sequels! They must have one heck of a writing staff.

I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies. Basing this guess on the famous line "Luke, I am your father," I'd say the films are about a young boy's quest to find his father. His father probably got his mother pregnant and left them, what a shame. This can only mean that the films were based on Johnny Cash's song "A Boy Name Sue," except the writers skillfully changed the boy's name to Luke to avoid copyright infringement. It all makes sense now.

The first movie I actually HAVE seen on the least appears at number 22, "Rear Window" directed by Alfred Hitchcock. Most people would say it's ironic that the movie I have seen is one that most people haven't. Well, most people would be wrong because that is not ironic; They need to learn how to use the word properly. Despite what Alanis Morisette says, it is not ironic if it rains on your wedding day. Anyway, it was actually a pretty good film. My favorite part was when Jimmy Stewart was in that room spying on his neighbors (you'd have to see the movie to get that joke).

Number 233 on the list is the film "The Incredibles." I've seen it and it was decent, but if that is one of the top movies of all time, maybe it's a good thing I haven't seen many of them. The highly publicized move "Bucky Larson" actually made the "Bottom 100 Movies" list at number 72. I didn't see it, but from the previews that seems about right.

You're probably all wondering which movies from the list I have seen (besides Rear Window) so here's the list : Inception, Pyscho, Forest Gump, North by Northwest, Saving Private Ryan, Vertigo, Back to the Future, Gladiator, Amadeus, Braveheart, Gran Torino, The Lion King, Rebecca, Toy Story, The Big Lebowski, Wizard of Oz, Strangers on a Train, Finding Nemo, Rocky, Rope, Pirates of the Caribbean, A Beautiful Mind, Big Fish, Monsters Inc., and Beauty and the Beast.

My favorite movie of all time, “The Thin Red Line,” which came out around the same time of “Saving Private Ryan,” sadly did not make this list. You should all watch it but I’ll warn you, it’s long and there is not a ton of action in it. That’s probably why it did not make the list.

That’s my story, which movies from the list have you seen?