It’s Saint Patrick’s Day! And it’s Saturday! And the weather is amazing! That sounds like a recipe for disaster. So, to keep all the celebrations in check, I’ve compiled the following list to help you make it through the day:

  • 10

    Don’t skip breakfast

    I don’t care if your eggs are green and you’re enjoying them with a cup of coffee spiked with Bailey’s. You need food in your system. And a lot of it.

  • 9

    Don’t forget the Sun Block

    Sure, it’s March 17 but it feels like summer. So you’ll most likely be out in the sun for hours at a time. And, if everyone’s Irish today, that means you’ll burn. Badly.

  • 8

    Don’t fight

    You’re going to get your ass kicked. You’ll swing and miss. It will be funny for everyone around you, until you start bleeding from hitting sidewalk.

  • 7

    Don’t take pictures next to or with policemen or police cars

    They’re not amused. And whatever you do, DO NOT try to pet the K-9 cop.

  • 6

    Don’t drunk dial anyone

    Not one person. I don’t care if it’s your mom’s birthday. You’re probably not going to be making sense and she doesn’t want to hear her baby slurring.

  • 5

    No sexting either

    Ever. You’ll regret it. Maybe not tomorrow, but definitely come Monday.

  • 4

    Don’t ask to see someone’s shamrocks or leprechaun.

    It’s St. Patrick’s Day, not Mardi Gras.

  • 3

    Don’t pee in the street, parking lots or shrubs

    Or at least try your darnedest not to. No one needs to see your Irish curse.

  • 2

    No brainer here: don’t drive

    I don’t care how “fine” you feel. You’re drunk and you know it. And the cops know it. They’re like Santa, they know if you’ve been bad or good.

  • 1

    Don’t drink green beer

    It may look cool, but don’t drink green beer. It will look like you did the deed with a leprechaun. Plus, you’ll poop green. Really.