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The Super Bowl’s Here. Bring In The Bucket.

By Jillian Benedict

Flickr by user Jeffery Beall

I admit, it’s exhausting hating the Patriots. I’ve been dreading this blog entry for a while. But the big day is upon us, and I feel like puking.

Tom Brady has done nothing but make me hate him even more. First he gave a pair of Ugg Boots to all his teammates. I love my Uggs, but now feel like can no longer wear them. (And seriously? Men in Uggs? Chad Ochocino’s gift was much better. And manlier.) Then trashing Buffalo. Come on, dude. You’re playing in the Super Bowl! Why are you even thinking about Buffalo? Then that sappy email from his wife. If he’s affected by his friends and family sending him happy thoughts then surely he’ll be affected by (at least) an entire region hoping he crashes and burns.

I heard an interview with Amani Toomer this week. He said if the Patriots lose today, there should be an asterisk on all three of their previous Super Bowl wins. He says “Spygate” proved that they’re cheaters. And if they can’t win a Super Bowl after getting busted for spying, then their previous wins are tainted.

I think he’s right.

But I also don’t think there’s a chance in hell the Patriots will lose today. Maybe it’s because I want them to lose so badly. Maybe it’s because Tom Brady sold his soul to the devil. Maybe it’s because they’re out for vengeance, even though they say they’re not. Whatever it is, it’s going to make the Super Bowl hard to stomach.

So if Gisele is right, we need to do our part. Think interceptions. Think fumbles. Think bad thoughts and send them Tom Brady’s way.

Go Bills. Or, I guess for today, Go Giants.


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