The 7 Worst Mother’s Day Gifts Of All Time
Here at Jack FM we’re just a bunch of momma’s boys (and girls) who want to make sure that we don’t get our moms the wrong thing this year. So I’ve put together a list of what to stay away from when you’re out shopping for the perfect way to say: “Thanks, Mom, for carrying our tiny butts around in a fluid-filled sack for 9 months and popping us out of an opening the size of a nickel. You’re the best.”
This is probably the most common go-to gift idea when it comes to holidays like these. For Father’s Day it’s power tools and car wax. Your mom doesn’t want a toaster; she wants a day at the spa, some new lotions, or maybe a child that actually cares about her.
Giant no-no. Don’t give your mom XL anything. I don’t care if she weighs 400lbs. Give her size M with a darn gift receipt. Also, stay away from sweatpants. Giving sweatpants to someone as a gift (especially your mom) is just like saying, “Here, we got these for you to put on, turn on some daytime television and give up.”
In case you haven’t heard about this delightful read, it’s an erotic trilogy that’s been banned from library shelves in various states. Your mom would probably LOVE this gift, but I’ve listed it here as a terrible gift idea more for your benefit. The last thing you want this Sunday is a hot and bothered mom.
Don’t get this, because more than likely your mom has no idea what a snuggie is (who does?) You’ll have to explain how there are sort of slots for your arms but not really and it’s more like a useless form-fitting blanket that gets tangled in your legs. She will ask too many questions and you’ll just be like, “GAWD MOM!” and she’ll be like, “I don’t like your tone.” Skip the snuggie.
Your mom would HATE this. Or worse, she’d become infected with Bieber Fever, learn every song, become some sort of weird cougar-groupie and follow his tour around the country. She’d need therapy afterwards, and so would you.
This is just a terrible idea. Don’t give your mom an intervention on Mother’s Day because that’s just mean. It’s HER day. Why spoil it with tears, sadness and A&E’s camera crew.
Mother’s Day is not the day to announce that you are preggo and still trying to narrow down who the baby daddy could be. Save this for the 4th of July because the fireworks might distract your mom from the fact that she still feels too young for this sh*t.