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Take a Snowday

It’s 7:35 am in West Seneca. I’m done. Up at the butt-crack of dawn, the snow has been falling all night. I’m not gonna make it. Three hours of shoveling the night before, and still this. There must be another 6 inches on the ground. “I PRAISE YOU 24/7AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!!”

Damn, the plows came thru. Yea, I know. That’s a good thing. Especially after 5 years of living in the City of Buffalo. Don’t worry, Melrose St, a plow will be there soon. And by soon, I mean May. At least in West Seneca the roads are always plowed and salted. Doesn’t matter though. I’m not getting out of my driveway. Not anytime soon.

The pile in front of it must be three feet high. And it’s packed in. The ice at the bottom makes each scoop feel like about 50 pounds of snow. Now why did I get a gym membership? That was a waste of money.

I knew I should have bought that snowblower, last week.  A thousand bucks doesn’t seem like that much money right now. Bet snowblowers just went up $300 today.The muscles in my back are starting to stiffen. I don’t think I can lift another. They keep talking about paralyzing effects of the snow, I feel it in my back.

Man, I’m hungry. Feels like I haven’t eaten in days. At least I’m at home. What about the poor bastards stuck on the Thruway with no fuel or food. Melissa Holmes, the embedded reporter in Cheektowaga,  says that the cars stuck on the road are not only not moving, but now need to be shoveled from their spots they’ve been in for the last 12 hours.

Time to check for rations. Bran Flakes, great. It’s no Cheerios, but it’ll have to do. Wait Lord, you are real. Is that a Tim Horton’s coffee? It is! I got stuck in the parking lot of Tim Horton’s last night to get this but never got to drink it. It might curdle a little in the microwave, but it’s worth it. Oh, this is gonna hit the spot.

Bet the weather channel is going to be here today. That’s lame, you know what would be better if they came back when it’s sunny and 82. Another 5-8 inches coming tonight. Damn you Mike Cejka! Time to get the shovel and get back out there. Not going to be coming into work today. It’s a snowday.

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