Dear Jon Bon,

First off, we’d like to say, we enjoy your music. We’ve got 13 songs or so of yours that we play on Jack FM, and we really didn’t want to ban you…partially because that’s 13 fewer songs we have in rotation, but also, we lost some listeners when we banned you, and we would like ‘em back. Unlike you and your millions of fans, going from six listeners to four is a pretty big hit.

But it’s a “shot through the heart” that you want to move our Buffalo Bills -- it really is -- and something had to be done. You sing in “Livin’ on a Prayer” that “We gotta hold on to what we got.” Now, they may not be much, but the Bills are “what we got,” and we’d like to hold on to them -- even if they are one of two teams that have been to The Big Game four times and managed to lose.

Some may think the Bills aren’t that good. Some may think, “Take the losers away.” But the Bills are Buffalo’s team, not Toronto’s. And although Toronto sports teams are probably used to losing just as much as we are, if the Bills are going to lose, we prefer they lose right here where we can see it…and throw our beer at them from the stands.

Seriously though: Why can’t we keep the Bills? Buy them all you want, but keep them here in Buffalo. You’d be a hero! People might mistake you for Johnny Rzeznik without Richie around, but that’s a hurdle to jump later. Who says you can’t keep them home? (See what we did there?) They are our Bills, and we like them right where they are.

OK, the time has come: We’ve run out of funny things to say. Our buzz must be wearing off. We hope you and your partners in stealing football teams make the right choice.

And, hey, remember ‘Slippery When Wet’? No, actually, do you remember it, or is old age setting in? We’re just curious.

Until next time we have too many cocktails…

92.9 Jack FM

P.S.: If you have all this money to blow, throw a dog a bone, would ya?! We could use it.