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New Boston Red Sox Anthem, ‘At Fenway’ is Pretty Horrendous

Twitter’s burning up today with news of ‘At Fenway’, a new song and music video debuting just in time for Opening Day of the baseball season. This homage to Fenway Park by “crooner” Brian Evans is, as this post put it, “about the worst thing imaginable” and after suffering through this video several times (for work purposes) it’s fair to say that it is just as bad as advertised, if not worse.

Let’s start with the obvious: Brian Evans (there’s a reason you’ve never heard of him until now), is just not a very good singer. Second, the lyrics are so trite as to be laughable (“No matter where you sit, you’re in heaven for a little bit”). Finally, there are so many things wrong with the baseball that’s taking place on the field we’re not sure where to start. Why does the second baseman throw the ball underhand? Why does the home plate umpire make the call at first? Why does he toss the manager and point to the other dugout? Why did all these Red Sox fans willingly agree to be a part of all this?

For reasons we will likely never know, William Shatner agreed to do a cameo as the home plate umpire. How on earth did that happen? We can forgive his role as the Priceline negotiator and even his Oscars appearance with Seth MacFarlane, but now this? Oh, Captain Kirk.

We looked into the song and it’s actually been around since 2011, though nobody seemed to pay any attention to it until now. In addition, it’s been approved by MLB and is being sold at Best Buy. What’s worse – there’s even a television ad co-starring Evans and Hall of Famer Jim Rice. (“Gotta hand it to you, Crooner Man, I love this song.”) Yes, Jim Rice refers to Evans as “Crooner Man” and manages to keep a straight face. Bravo. How desperate must Rice be (or better question, how much did the Red Sox pay him)?

Evans seems to be creating a cottage industry out of ‘At Fenway,’ selling autographed copies of the CD/DVD of the single for $40 on his website, as well as an autographed photo of the singer standing on the pitcher’s mound at Fenway (in a tuxedo) for the low low price of $99. Come on. But our favorite is this gem, a musical ‘At Fenway’ gift card. “When you open this card, it automatically plays ‘At Fenway,’ the iconic song by Brian Evans. Licensed by Major League Baseball, you put Red Sox tickets inside when you given the card as a gift to your Red Sox fan.” Yours for just $12!!!! (Note: According to Evans’ website, Brian’s personal profits from the sale of ‘At Fenway’ and the music video will be donated to charities, but this does not appear to apply to the merchandise proceeds).

Evans promises that “Red Sox and baseball fans alike will enjoy the intimate look into Fenway Park, the most beloved ballpark in America.” Sorry, Crooner Man, nobody likes it. And if you don’t believe this Yankee fan’s thoughts on the video, let’s check in with Red Sox Nation on Twitter.

Perhaps the possible last place finish in the AL East won’t be the worst thing to happen to the Red Sox this season.

NEXT: An Injured A-Rod will Make More Than Entire Astros Roster

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