The basket of a bike is useful for transporting almost anything; school books, extra terrestrials, the head of a sledge hammer tied to a rope or even empty porn DVD cases.  The Salina News Journal explains how 21-year-old Juan Aguirre almost pulled off the heist of the century. Kidding. He botched the robbery of a porn shop.

According to the report, the burglar alarm sounded after the glass doors of Cirilla’s adult entertainment store were smashed. Police found Aguirre riding his bike not far from the break-in. In the basket of his bike they found, the head of a sledge hammer tied to a rope, along with empty DVD cases.

The estimated value of the DVDs is $5. The damage to the doors was estimated at $500. He was being held at the Saline County Jail in lieu of $6,000 bond. All this could have been avoided with a $5 issue of Penthouse.