Lottery: Pick Me!

So, the second-largest jackpot in US lottery history was handed out this week, and I have to say, I am super upset I didn't win it. Sure, I'm not an avid lottery player, but who could resist $380 million? 

Can I just tell you that I didn't even get one number on any of my five tickets? Not one. Is this some kind of a sick joke? 

I guess my mindset is all wrong. See, I expect to win. I expect to. I think, "Hey, I'm a nice person. I don't lie, cheat or steal. I plan to make a donation to my favorite charity. I HAVE to win.” 

Yeah, probably not the best way to go about it. Someone once told me “Hope for the best, expect the worst.” While this may seem a little pessimistic, it hasn’t let me down once! I have no idea why I cannot use this approach towards the lottery. Or gambling of any sorts. Because let’s be honest, while I’m a nice person, I’m no Gandhi. I’d be selfish and use a lot of that money on things for myself, including the purchase of an exotic island. Or countless kitty condos for my faithful felines. 

So I’ll do my best to expect the worse the next time I play. But in the meantime, I guess there’s nothing left to do but secretly hate those two lucky winners.