Lame A** Superheroes

It's a summer of SUPERHERO Movies. From the Avengers to X-Men or from a guy with a green ring to a God with a hammer. Al want to be the hero with cool superpowers or the ability to have cool gadgets (side fan-boy note: Batman, while considered a Superhero, has no real super powers other than an awesome trust fund). But what about the not so cool super ones-
Here is my list of Lame A** Superheroes in no particular order:

1. The Wonder Twins:

Zan and Jayna (More like Lame and Lamer)
It’s a wonder they were even created-
One turns into a water based compound: I will always have ice in my drink.
The other any animal: Whatever! As long it is the fastest one, so I could run away from the bad guys as fast as I can-

2. Plastic Man:

Can stretch his body into any shape- Just stay out of the microwave or dishwasher

3. Man Thing:

It’s a walking shrub that oozes goo that burns the flesh with the same effect as poison ivy or oak. “Look out Chamomile Lad!”

4. Steel: Shaquille O'Neal

starred in the movie “nuff said

5. Anything Spider, Super, Bat or Aqua

Anything that has Spider, Super, Bat or Aqua that DOES NOT HAVE MAN AS A SUFFIX IS LAME!