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Just What We Need at a Buffalo Bills Tailgate Party — Earlier Access to Beer

Under a new proposal, the Buffalo Bills will be able to serve beer an hour earlier, and its sponsors believe it will cut back on irresponsible drinking. Good luck with that. First off, it’s a Bills game. As much as I love the team and the passion of the fans, it still attracts a bunch of dicks! For these guys, alcohol abuse is part of the experience. I would never bring someone without a high school diploma to a Bills game, and changing the rules ain’t gonna stop these idiots from drinking heavily and being rude and crude. Just consider yourself lucky if you escape the Ralph without getting punched in the head.

Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images

And know that guy who paints his face red,white and blue and has “Fitz-magic” written on his naked chest when the windchill is -10? I don’t think he’s looking to go to a Bills game sober, no matter what laws are introduced.

Also, tailgating is the best part of the Bills game. I wouldn’t trade my free Bud Lights, bratwurst and pretzels for $10 beer. Over the last 10 years, tailgating has been the most fun you can have at the Ralph, ’cause the team on the field wasn’t providing much entertainment. The Bills closed the window on when you could start tailgating in the parking lot last season, and surprise, surprise, people still got drunk. The only way to get people out of the parking lots and into the stadium earlier would be to outlaw tailgating. Then we would be Toronto. I can only imagine that uproar.

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