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Jack has Oscar (Meyer) Fever

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Raise your hand if you have heard of any of the movies nominated for an Academy Award. Ok,I’ll give you Money Ball. But that had Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill, unfair. Name more than three. Thought so. Seems like every year that the Oscar Nominations come out, they are devoid of movies people  actually want to go see. Why don’t the popcorn movies ever get nominated?

Best Picture, ‘The Artist’? Huh? Yea, that looks great. Does anyone really want to sit in a movie theater and read what is being said. I can’t even stand it when I accidentally sit on the remote control and turn on the closed captioning. It’s 2012, a silent movie? No, thank you. I’ll take the CGI planes in Red Tails any day over that muck. ‘Midnight in Paris’,‘The Tree of Life’, ‘Albert Knobbs’? What pretentious universe do these film critics live in?

This is the day and age of the Internet. Let movie-goers vote for the best film, best actor, best actress etc. Then movies that people actually go and see might win something. That would make the winners easy. Harry Potter, Twilight and Transformersare my nominations for the best films of the year. People have packed theaters and shelled out $10 a pop of their hard-earned money to see these movies.

And why can’t a comedian win best actor? I say give best  actor to Zach Galifinakis for his work in the ‘Hangover Part 2‘. The Rock should be best supporting actor for ‘Fast and Furious’ , better yet Vin Diesel as best actor. Furthermore, Captain America, Thor and Rise of the Planet of the Apes are clearly awesome and the academy should acknowledge it.

Only ‘The Help’, broke the $100 million mark at the box office and ‘Money Ball’ and ‘War Horse’ were the only other nominated movies with any signs of commercial success. Only one choice for best supporting actress makes any sense, and the academy should just hand Melissa McCarthy an Oscar right now for her ability to belch, fart and be raunchy as Megan in Bridesmaids.

Every year, movies I’ve never heard of win a bunch of trophies and I go check them out to find out what the fuss is about. Last year I picked up Social Network, the Hurt Locker, some movie about a King with a stutter and Black Swan (mostly for the Lesbian scene). Thankfully, they were rentals because most Academy Award Winning Movies are a waste of time.

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