Tunes for Newt Gingrich’s Moon Base
One small step for Jack FM, One giant leap for Music…kind? Inspired by Newt Gingrich’s plan for a moon base, here’s Jack FM’s small contribution. The soundtrack to your lunar escape. What’s a moon base without some moon tunes? So here you are some great songs to take with you, once you move into your Lunar Condo.
Moondance Van Morrison:
This classic song from Van Morrison didn’t chart until seven and a half years after it was released. Which is about the same amount of time it will take you to fly from your moon base to Mars.
Pink Floyd-(Anything from) Dark Side of the Moon
Just pop this classic album in your smartphone as you rocket to the moon and enjoy the trip. Both kinds. And make sure you have the materials you need to build a hydroponic garden at your moon abode, so you can truly enjoy this soundtrack once you get there. Not only is this one of the biggest selling albums of all-time on our earthly plane, it’s sure to rock on moon tunes too.
King Harvest -Dancing in the Moonlight
We don’t suggest actually Dancing in the Moonlight once you get to the moon, unless you have a good pair of heavy boots. While the moon still has some gravity, you would weigh considerably less and it could get nasty.
Elton John-Rocket Man
Need we say more? There is no perfect song for the space launch, or for your honky moon chateau overlooking the Lava Lake Felicitis on the Northern Mare Imbrium Pennisula.
The Doors-Moonlight Drive
Since you’re on the Moon already, you couldn’t go on a moonlight drive there could you? Well, yes kinda. Moonlight actually originates from the sun, so it would be more of an earthlight drive. And you have to wonder if a ‘full earth’ would have any adverse effects , like making you want to watch a ‘Twilight’ Movie.
Creedence Clearwater Revival-Bad Moon Rising
CCR’s classic song also has one of the most misinterpreted lyrics in rock history. When Fogerty sings, “There’s a bad moon on the rise,” many listeners have confused it with “There’s a bathroom on the right”. Which would be a nice way to greet guests to your Lunar Mansion. Followed by “and it’s fully equipped with a vacum pump and diapers…just like Neil Armstrong had.”
The Police-Walking on the Moon
You’re going to need Police on the Moon. We can’t have total anarchy. We may even send Sting to the Moon to head up our Police force. Or least the tantric sex moon unit. Or we could send up Christopher Walken. What would Christopher Walken on the moon sound like? And would his legs break, or would he break someone else’s legs?
Michael Jackson-Billie Jean
The minute you step foot on the moon, you know you’re going to do it. It’s Ok, go ahead and Moon Walk like Michael Jackson. Why’d they ever call this move a moon walk? Neil Armstrong didn’t walk backwards? Oh, you’re going to do the forward Moon Walk, aren’t you fancy.
David Bowie -Space Oddity
Next time Newt Gingrich tells you that you’re speaking the language of the Ghetto take your protein pills, drop your drawers, show the full moon and tell one of Newt’s three wives he loves them. She knows. Except for the one with cancer.
*Veronica Grossman contributed to this story.