Jack FM’s Anti-Academy Awards — And the Winners Are…
The 2013 Oscar nominees have officially been announced, and with the awards show right around the corner, we felt that it was time to announce our nominations for Jack FM’s Anti-Academy Awards. We nominated 12 films based on very specific categories and listed them here for you to read and look out for on the night of the Oscars.
So, below are the nominees for Jack FM’s 1st Annual Anti-Academy Awards.
CATEGORY: Actors With Hair Plugs Who Are Desperate For Roles
TITLE: Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance
STARRING: Nicholas Cage and no one else you’ve ever heard of.
CATEGORY: Movies That Are Also Board Games
STARRING: Overrated pop singer, Liam Neeson, girl with boobs, guy with squinty eyes, ships.
CATEGORY: Scary Fish in 3D
STARRING: Some really mean fish.
CATEGORY: What Was Adam Sandler Thinking?
TITLE: That’s My Boy
STARRING: Adam Sandler and that guy from SNL with a butt chin
CATEGORY: Actors Who Shouldn’t Grow Facial Hair
STARRING: John Cusack, goatee.
CATEGORY: Movies You Wish You Could Unsee
TITLE: One for the Money
STARRING: Izzy from Grey’s Anatomy.
CATEGORY: Katy Perry
TITLE: Katy Perry: Part of Me
STARRING: Katy Perry.
CATEGORY: Creepy Little Boys Who Grow From Plants
TITLE: The Odd Life of Timothy Green
STARRING: Jennifer Garner, Other Dude with nice five-o’clock shadow.
CATEGORY: Gross Romantic Hookups
TITLE: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
STARRING: Steve Carell, Keira Knightly, No Chemistry.
CATEGORY: Movies That Aren’t Cruel Intentions
TITLE: This Means War
STARRING: Reese Witherspoon, Not Ryan Phillippee.
CATEGORY: Romantic Comedy
STARRING: Michael Fassbender, a few aliens.
CATEGORY: Tom Cruise Scaring People in Makeup
TITLE: Rock of Ages
STARRING: Tom Cruise with long hair, chubby Alec Baldwin, others.