Global Bacon Shortage is a Horrible Reality –Aporkalypse Now!
We really don’t like to be the bearers of bad news. It makes us feel all sad and weird, like ‘Gangnam Style’ in an elevator. But this time, we feel that it’s necessary to relay said bad news, if only for your health: there is going to be a global shortage of bacon next year.
Before you let out shrieks of sheer terror and shed tears of bacon-less sadness (except, we already did), we have to think of others first. Although our love for the delicious pork strips runs very, very deep, we also have to be aware of how this will affect the meat lover of all meat lovers. What the heck is Nick Offerman going to do?! Poor guy.
So who or what’s to blame for the future lack of the deliciously greasy snack from heaven? Extreme drought. Apparently, a major lack of precipitation across North America and Russia have caused grain crop prices to increase drastically. As a result, farmers across the globe haven’t been able to obtain enough food for their porkers, forcing them to cut down herd sizes. That means a lot less bacon to go around.
Wait– does this also mean no more Burger King Bacon Sundaes?! NOOO!