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Girl Scouts Are the Spawns of Satan

Girl Scout Cookies
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If this holiday season wasn’t hard enough to get through with all the delicious temptations, the Girl Scouts have to add another obstacle.

Those little evil girls sell their delicious cookies and deliver at the most fattening time of year.

No longer does mom or dad just bring the sign-up sheet to work for the little devils. Nope. They come in, sometimes in their school uniform, looking all sweet and innocent. How do you turn down a Girl Scout with the face of an angel? So you buy a couple boxes, helping the little gal earn her patches. Then she turns away from you and laughs. We’re all suckers.

See, not only are we guilted into buying them, we’re unable to resist their deliciousness. I’m pretty sure they’re made with crack, which makes us crave them all year long.

These little bitches know exactly what they’re doing. That’s why you can find tables and tables of cookies for sale at any mall. And you tell me – have you ever seen a Girl Scout actually eat a Girl Scout cookie?

I think I’m on to something here. Let me think about this more over a box of Thin Mints.

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