Terry Pegula by Len Schrantz

It was one year ago today that Terry Pegula was announced as the new owner of the Buffalo Sabres. I can remember how I felt when Terry uttered the words “starting today the sole purpose of the Buffalo Sabres is to win the Stanley Cup”. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The Buffalo Sabres had finally found an owner who was more interested in winning than making a profit.

A year later and the Buffalo Sabres are sitting at the bottom of their conference. Where was all the winning? Where is the owner that Buffalo fell in love with?

With the exception of a few players this is still Tom Galisono’s hockey Team. Until Mr. Pegula makes the changes that are necessary for the success of this team his leadership is in question.

Key and Peele via Facebook

Comedy Central recently added the new sketch comedy series, “Key & Peele,” to their weekly lineup. After two weeks, it has the makings of a success.

The show is hosted by Keegen-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, and creates humor from racial stereotypes as well as celebrity impersonations, similar in many ways to the Chappelle Show. You may remember Keegen and Jordan from their days at MadTv, where Keegen played the very memorable character, Coach Hines, in skits.

Here are some memorable skits from the show’s initial episodes:

“Yo Mama Has Health Problems”

“Phone Call”

“Hell’s Kitchen Parody”

“Soul Food”

Guinness World Records / Nick Stoeberl

Stephen Taylor, left, currently holds the Guinness World Record for the longest tongue with a whopping licker of 3.86 inches. However, stand up comedian Nick Stoeberl, right, claims he has beaten it according to RecordSetter.com, a competing record measuring agency, at 3.988 inches.

Stoeberl has submitted his claim to the Guinness people for official verification. He told the Huffington Post that he has no doubt the record will be verified since he and Recordsetter followed the same criteria for measuring as Guinness’s requirements. That includes measuring the tongue from the middle of the tip of the closed upper lip with the average of three measurements submitted as the official length. The measurements also have to be taken from professional medical personnel. A Guinness rep said they would have to see it “first hand” to confirm the record.

I hope they have the good sense to wash their first and second hands afterwards.

Source: TheFW.com

Theo Wargo,Getty Images

The revitalized Van Halen are ready to light up the sky with their current tour. Even though the trek is just kicking into gear, they are already changing things up a bit. At last night’s show at The Palace Of Auburn Hills in Michigan, they dug deep into the old kit bag and pulled out ‘Girl Gone Bad.’

This obscure gem from the ’1984′ album planted itself right in the middle of a, shall we say, diggin-the-chicks section of the show with ‘Women In Love’ preceding and ‘Beautiful Girls’ following. The crowd was obviously wowed.

From what we can gather, the band hasn’t played this particular song in concert since the ’1984′ tour. It appears that the boys have been making a conscious effort to swap a song or two from night to night to keep things interesting and keep the fans guessing as to what buried treasure they might unearth on any given night — bravo to them for that. Check out the complete setlist from the second night’s stop here.

Watch Van Halen Perform ‘Girl Gone Bad’ in Detroit

Source: UltimateClassicRock.com

YouTube

Batman will generally only don his bat-suit when there is crime that needs to be fought. However, there is another caped crusader — Toronto Batman — who has no problem slipping into the iconic costume just because he wants to enjoy a night on the town.

Toronto Batman was kind enough to record his latest experiences in his Canadian hometown.

As you can see, Batman doesn’t have to take down bad guys to contribute to society. His mere presence seems to cheer people up, even when he is rambling on about his dead parents or berating moviegoers for being way too early to see ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’ And, yes, Toronto Batman will pose for pictures.

The video would’ve probably been better if Batman was little easier to understand. Although his often inedible utterances work as both a parody of Christian Bale’s unusually low register when he plays the part and the controversy surrounding ’The Dark Knight Rises’ villain Bane, whose muffled dialogue has been difficult to decipher in the movie’s trailers.

We’re also pleased to see that superheroes also struggle to open up a beef jerky. Since it’s 2012, Toronto Batman is on Twitter, and you can follow him here.

Source: TheFW.com

Wait did we forget to mention all the BEADS BOOBS you could possibly see on this holiest of days? How could we forget such a vital part of this holiday. Well if you’re wondering where the best places to go for this we’ve got you covered.  Check out all the fun parties going on in Buffalo tonight, where maybe just maybe you will get to see some major tatas. Such as, Allentown’s Fattest Mardi Gras Party taking place at The Bend, or the Mardi Gras Extravaganza happening at DBGB, or if you’re really trying to see some tail, you can still celebrate this weekend at the Buffalo Bar Crawl, Friday February 24th on Chippewa street. All these options are at your disposal. If you’re a real trooper you will attend our Zero K Marathon and then hit up all three of these events . So come on…. we Double D dog dare you.

Contributed by Veronica Grossman (pictured above with beads of her own)

*Contributed by Veronica Grossman

To get you ready, check out some video from last years ‘race’.

Paul Morigi, Getty Images

State lawmakers in Indiana were recently presented with a resolution to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts organization and honor the positive influence the group has had on American women. Representative Bob Morris, a Republican from Fort Wayne, was the only representative to refuse to sign, citing a belief that the Girl Scouts is a “radicalized organization.”

The Indiana lawmaker sent a letter to his colleagues saying he plans to pull his daughters from their Girl Scout troop after he found information online claiming that the group “sexualizes” girls and promotes homosexuality. One source he cited was a conservative “news” website called World Net Daily.

In his letter, he claimed to have found allegations that the Girl Scouts are actually a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood that encourages the girls to have sex. He continued to say that the people who the Girl Scouts consider to be role models are all “feminists, lesbians, or Communists.”

He also mentioned an allegation that the organization allows transgender females to join. This misstatement of the facts was most likely based on a situation that arose last fall when a transgender male child was refused membership in a Colorado troop, but then allowed to join by the national organization, which encourages inclusiveness.

The scouts have received criticism for this inclusiveness and many groups and websites have been working very hard to “expose” them. Diane Tipton, president of the Girl Scout Council of the Nation’s Capital said in response, “Misinformation is passing as fact. The Girl Scout organization does not take a position on abortion or birth control, and these topics are not part of the Girl Scout program or our materials. We believe these matters are best discussed by girls with their families.”

At this time, the Girl Scouts are not planning any changes in policy, but they have released a statement explaining where they stand on sensitive issues.

[via Huffington Post]

Thinkstock

Every watering hole has one: the oddball character who’s strange.

We don’t mean ‘strange’ in that he reminisces about the days he enjoyed a good Zima, either. We mean strange, as in he’s just plain spooky. Here’s how you can tell if you’re that guy:

1. When you walk in, the music actually screeches to a stop.

2. When you sit down, the people nearby casually get up and move at least 25 feet away. It’s like you’ve single-handedly brought the cooties back.

3. No one can figure out why, but saliva is oozing out of your mouth like Cujo.

4. You’re asking people to sign your petition demanding the bar remain open on Christmas Day.

5. Whenever a woman walks in, you put your hands in your pocket.

6. You insist on the staff cheering “Norm!” every time you walk in.

7. You’re wearing a trenchcoat, even though it’s packed to the gills and 85 degrees.

8. You camped out waiting for the bar to open.

9. It’s 10 o’clock. In the morning.

10. Your drink of choice is Yoo-hoo.

11. You’re there everyday and they still haven’t named a drink after you yet.

12. You’re engaged in a very deep and intense conversation about how the government staged the moon landing — with yourself.

13. You’re trying to pick up two hot blondes that you don’t seem to realize is an old cardboard cutout of the Coors Light twins.

14. You cry when the bartender shouts, “Last call!”

Drew Weisholtz is a funny guy. Unless you didn’t like this, in which case he’s simply using a pseudonym. He’s written for ABC and other online outlets and does standup comedy in front of actual people. You can follow him on Twitter @undrstoodgenius.

Facebook/istolethetv, Flickr/Google

Ever since the Grand National Bank of St. Louis, Missouri opened the first drive-up window teller (deposits only!) way back in 1930, drive-thrus have become a symbol of modern American convenience.

Today, of course, fast food restaurants lay claim to the majority of drive-thrus and most of us use them on a regular basis. (Who actually goes into a McDonald’s these days?) But you might be surprised to learn that burgers and fries aren’t the only thing you can order from the comfort of your car.

Looking to get hitched without ever shutting off your ride? You can. Need medical attention and don’t want the hassle of looking for a parking space? That’s possible too. Hoping for, um, adult entertainment while your car idles? You got it, pervy motorist. Check out our roundup of the 10 wackiest drive-thrus in America (including a few in Canada) below.

Frequency News

Adams Funeral Home

Some people are far too busy to slow down, even for a funeral. Adams Funeral Home in California caters to this type of individual by laying dearly-departed loved ones to rest in a glass enclosed chamber inside a drive-thru. Completely redefines what it means to “pay your respects,” huh?

Oddee

Stanford Hospital & Clinics

In 2009, Stanford Hospital & Clinics in California tested a drive-thru emergency room as a way to treat highly contagious patients, such as those suffering from swine flu or a bioterrorism attack. Amazingly, the study found that doctors were able to reduce exam time by more than an hour. See? Drive-thrus aren’t just quick; they can keep you healthy too.

Las Vegas News Bureau

A Little White Wedding Chapel

Wedding chapels with drive-thrus are nothing new in Las Vegas, but A Little White Wedding Chapel does it best. For only $179, couples get a wedding ceremony, a DVD, a dozen professional photographs, a long-stemmed rose, keepsakes and a courtesy limo. And, best of all, the newlyweds get to drive through the chapel’s Tunnel of Love, a raised structure with a ceiling decked out in cherubs. Classy! An Elvis impersonator, of course, is extra.

Frederic Neema

Main Place Christian Fellowship Prayer Booth

In 2002, an evangelical church in California took over a photo booth and began offering drive-thru prayer. Anyone in need of communing with the Lord can stop at the booth while an on-duty pastor prays through a window. In addition to free prayer, the booth gives away Bibles and bottles of water. Amen to that!

Zhurnaly

Double Shot Liquor and Guns

Got a powerful thirst for booze and an itchy trigger finger? Then Double Shot Liquor and Guns is for you. This Texas-based business offers the unlikely product pairing of both liquor and firearms via a drive-thru. It’s anybody’s guess whether DUIs and/or drive-by shootings have spiked in the area.

Maeve Sullivan

Climax Gentlemen’s Club

At one time, Climax Gentlemen’s Club in Pennsylvania ushered drivers down a gravel driveway to a carport, where they could watch the ladies inside through a diamond-shaped window. Alas, the club closed its doors in 2009 after the death of owner Nick Climax. But if you’re still hoping for a bit of on-the-go eye candy, there’s hope! Read on.

Lucía Ciomei/Flickr

Cowgirls Espresso Bikini Drive-Thru

Trying to sell coffee to a Seattle resident is like trying to sell a sno-cone to an Eskimo. So, Cowgirls Espresso founder Lori Bowden needed a way to set her fledgling coffee stand business apart. Her solution? Drive-up convenience combined with bikini-clad baristas! Needless to say, her plan worked. Today, Cowgirls Espresso can be found in four locations across the country.

Kafziel/Wikipedia

The Donut Hole

The Donut Hole in California doesn’t just let customers purchase doughnuts by car. It lets them drive through a giant doughnut while doing so. The business is a local landmark in the town of La Puente and has been serving up tasty treats since 1968. And with a name like “The Donut Hole,” you know it’s got to be good.

srqpix/flickr

Vancouver Contemporary Art Gallery

In 2006, the Vancouver Contemporary Art Gallery unveiled a drive-through exhibit where motorists could watch videos by artist Brady Cranfield. But making art easier to view didn’t necessarily make it easier to understand. “I think its kind of so deep I don’t get it,” said visitor Chris Raedcher.

Ottawa Public Library

Ottawa Public Library

The Ottawa Public Library in Ontario opened a 24-hour drive-thru window in 2005, providing a quick way to drop off books. Just think! No more disapproving looks from librarians as you pay off overdue fees.

Source: TheFW.com

go4celebrity.com

Naomi Watts is an Academy Award nominated actress and goodwill ambassador. She is all over the news today for scoring the role of Princess Diana in the upcoming flick ‘Caught in Flight.’ Those things don’t mean anything compared to the honor of being named ‘Crush of the Day.’

An interesting nugget of info is that Naomi’s father’s manic laugh can be heard in the Pink Floyd songs ‘Speak to Me’ and ‘Brain Damage’ from ‘The Dark Side of the Moon.’ That is one of those cool facts a person can use to dazzle people at parties. Also, pretty cool growing up and bragging about it to friends. “My dad is on ‘Dark Side of the Moon!’ What has your dad done?!?”

Our dads got really drunk listening to ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ then probably had sex. It’s how we got here. Beat that!

Getty Images

Getty Images

Source: 1

Mark Gstohl, Flickr / Natalie Maynor, Flickr / Gaye Gerard, Getty Images

Next Tuesday is a big day…literally. This year, February 21st is Mardi Gras, or translated, Fat Tuesday. The day we all party down and do all kinds of sinful things before giving it all up for Lent. Yes, even the dogs.

Why shouldn’t dogs get to have some fun for Mardi Gras? There are a lot of people who agree they should. There is even a Barkus Parade in New Orleans. With an estimated 1500 dogs attending, it’s known as the largest dog parade in the world.

Here are some pictures of pooches who are ready to celebrate Big Easy style.

Looking Boss in Purple Velour

Mario Tama, Getty Images

The Fancy Boa

Gaye Gerard, Getty Images

The Tin Dog

Herkie, Flickr

A Pair of Pretty Pugs

katedubya, Flickr

A Painted Pup

paparutzi, Flickr

The Joker Pooch

Mark Gstohl, Flickr

The Beaded Hound

katedubya, Flickr

The Very Fancy Dog

Natalie Maynor, Flickr

The Golden Prince

Herkie, Flickr

Masters of Mardi Gras

Herkie, Flickr

Source: TheFW.com

Jack in the Box

In moments of unbridled honesty, even many vegetarians will tell you how much they miss bacon. Now fast food chain Jack in the Box is riding to the rescue, introducing a new artificially-flavored bacon milkshake.

Yes, we said “bacon milkshake.”

Jack in the Box is using Torani bacon-flavored syrup to make the weird concoction, meaning it’s allegedly safe for vegetarians, Muslims, Jews and anyone else who for personal or religious reasons cannot normally indulge in deceased swine.

Adding to the covert nature of it all, the bacon shake isn’t even on the Jack in the Box menu — you have to know about it and specifically request it. It’s part of the chain’s bizarre “Marry Bacon” campaign, which also includes a BLT Cheeseburger and a way to create your own Bacon Baby on the website. (Look, we don’t come up with this stuff, we just report it.)

But if you’re thinking drinking your bacon instead of eating it will be healthier, forget it — a regular bacon shake has a whopping 773 calories and 40 grams of fat.

[via Gizmodo]

Source: TheFW.com

New Line Cinema

Cowabunga, dude! The mega-popular ’80s franchise ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ is ready to make a big return to movie theaters in advance of their upcoming 30th anniversary. Paramount, Nickelodeon and producer Michael Bay are teaming up to bring back the “Heroes in a Half-Shell” with an all new reboot of the classic series.

Director Jonathan Liebesman (‘Battle: Los Angeles’, the forthcoming ‘Wrath of the Titans’) has been hired to find a way to bring the property, which once featured stuntmen in rubber suits and the voice of Corey Feldman, to the current day.

According to Slashfilm, the new ‘TMNT’ film will employ motion-capture technology, not unlike what Fox did with the ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ remake. That sounds great because those apes looked awesome, but keep in mind those apes were photo-real. The Ninja Turtles were always meant to be a little cartoonish because, after all, they’re turtles who are masters of martial arts.

The ‘Ninja Turtles’ franchise spawned 21 videogames, four films, three TV shows and one Vanilla Ice rap song, which you can watch below. Just try getting this one out of your head.

Source: TheFW.com

Thinkstock

Calvin is considering a career change. Right now he’s a full-time dad, works on Wall Street, and is a stripper on the side. It has certain benefits. Right now he’s making from $500 to $1200 a night, and now he’s thinking of doing this full time. But sometimes he feels low after working a long night. Is pursuing this as a full-time career a good idea or is he crazy?

My Advice:

Well Calvin, you’re not crazy, but it’s not socially acceptable. You should ask yourself at the end of the day, are you proud of this activity? Call me conservative, but I don’t think dancing almost nude is an appropriate way to be pulling in money, especially at your age and while you have a child.

You seem to be searching for something with a career change.  I’m going to take a guess and say that at least one thing you’re missing is generosity. Just showing that you care about someone can make a big difference in how you feel. I think this is what’s missing in your life right now.

What I think you should do is volunteer your time to someone else. You know how good that’ll make you feel? In our community, we give toys to children during the holidays, and you’d be surprised how good a real ‘thank you’ will make you feel.

When you do things selflessly for other people, it’ll change your whole attitude. When you strip, maybe you’re giving some ladies a fun time, but you’re not giving yourself what you need. I’m not telling you you’re doing anything wrong, but the only way you’ll get out of your rut, is by being generous to other people.

Listen to the audio:

Source: TheCheckup.com

In case you guys were wondering what last years Zero K Marathon looked like here you go. Jack FM holds our Zero K Marathon every year. Last years lasted only about a minute…that was still too slow for us, so we had to speed it up.

YouTube

If you are a fan of the Food Network, then chances are you have seen the beautiful Giada De Laurentiis pop up on your television about a hundred times. It’s not the only thing that pops up. Great meal ideas! Kidding. We meant our little Italian sausages.

A few years ago, Food Network put out a short lived show called ‘Giada in Paradise.’ It was the greatest show ever made. Basically, it took smoking hot chef Giada and put her in her favorite vacation destinations to explore the culture and foods. She was in a bikini or some kind of sexy beachwear about 73% of the time. You know all that kitchen cleavage she usually shows off? Yeah, well, multiple that by a hundred.

Her biggest show, ‘Everyday Italian,’ hasn’t filmed new episodes since 2006 but still airs on Food Network and she has another show called ‘Giada At Home’ which also still airs. This hottie is all over the boob tube. We already love Food Network for it’s crazy shows about bad for you food, but Giada makes it worth watching any time of the day time.

Giada is our little meatball, um, Crush of the Day.

YouTube

Photo by Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images for William Morris Agency

Source: 1

Aaron Landry, Flickr

We’ve all briefly contemplated an all-pizza diet, usually after biting into a particularly tasty slice. Englishwoman Claire Simmons has been living that dream for 31 years. Not so surprisingly, it plays out like more of a nightmare.

The 33-year-old has what is known as selective eating disorder. Meaning, if she is presented with any food that isn’t a cheese pizza she begins to shake, and is unable to eat it.  She’s still fairly healthy, which she attributes to exercise and lots of water. But her doctor has told her that her lack of  a varied diet will eventually catch up with her, and possibly even be fatal.

Simmons decided to go public with her strange eating habit after reading about Stacey Irvine, the 17-year old who can only eat Chicken McNuggets.

I’m actually scared of fruit and veg. I get so angry when people think I’m being faddy — this is a real medical condition,” Simmons explained.

Real medical condition or not, Simmons should consider herself lucky. We were always under the impression that if you eat that much pizza you would actually turn into a pizza.

[via The Sun]

Source: TheFW.com