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Millionaire Renames Texas Town After Breastaurant

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An entrepreneur named Doug Guller has purchased the small town of Bankersmith, Texas on Craigslist and re-named it after his breastaurant franchise named Bikinis.

First of all, you can just buy towns on Craigslist now?!? This kind of stunt could really kick-start a global trend for marketers and advertisers hoping to extend their reach. Snatch up small ghost towns and name them after your brand. Turn them into blindingly branded ‘theme parks’ that exclusively feature your products, services, and messaging. We get the shakes just thinking about Starbucks County.

Secondly, what a lazy name for a breastaurant. You’ve got Hooters, Twin Peaks, Tilted Kilt, Heart Attack Grill – all of which have some kind of clever angle or theme. Bikinis? Just waitresses in bikinis? Not even like BEE-kinis? Where they wear lil’ stingers and have those bug antennas and all the food is infused with honey? We once visited a topless diner in Montreal – no clue what the name was but when they’re topless, you don’t need a clever name. That’s the only instance when you can phone it in.

According to a press release, Bikinis has grown rapidly to eleven locations including the biggest markets in Texas, North Carolina and Oklahoma with five more in the works and 50 planned by 2017. If you can’t wait another five years to see overworked, stressed out, flustered waitresses in bikinis, we’ve ordered a feast’s worth of hot dishes, which you can chow down on below.

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NEXT: GUY ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE JUNK DURING GUN PURCHASE

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