Breaking Fake News: Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead

Darth Vader held a press conference late last night announcing that his long time nemesis Obi-Wan Kenobi was killed in a brief firefight with a special forces unit from the Imperial Stormtroopers. After the body was positively identified it was dumped into space in accordance with Jedi beliefs. Pictures of the compound where Kenobi was killed have been released, however, photos of Kenobi will be kept classified as they are quite offensive. The Galactic Empire Times has the full story and photos.

In other news, Vader has released a copy of his long form birth certificate.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure this story reminds me of something else that happened recently.