Yesterday, Rob Gronkowski's Homecoming was completed with not one, but two touchdowns against the Buffalo Bills. If you think his rise from the streets of Western New York to starting Tight End for the New England Patriots was easy, think again.  The rookie tight end had to prove himself to Tom Brady and Head Coach Bill Belichick before going on to score 8 TD's this season. And now, thanks to the Onion, we've learned, just what kind of hell he and the New England rookies went through to win the approval of the head coach.

UNNAMED DESERT—After providing his 2010 draft picks with only two canteens of water, a flashlight, and a cheap compass, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick dumped his 12 newest players in the middle of a desert wasteland Tuesday and told them to find their way back to Foxboro on their own.

Mind-numbing Onion expose continued here