In a recent article, SpongeBob SquarePants was dubbed “amoral” in the Ukraine based on the reasoning that the title character “promotes homosexuality” and is “trying to turn Ukraine children into criminals and perverts.”
It’s hard to know what to expect when going through airport security. Sometimes you’re able to waltz right through without a second glance. Other times, you find yourself being interrogated for a suspicious used Kleenex in your purse ("Ma’am, I’m afraid you’re going to have to check these boogers"). Either way, it’s important to know what’s allowed and not allowed on a plane. For example, a hairbrush? OK. A stun gun disguised as a pink phone? Maybe not.
In early June, we were eagerly anticipating the day when department stores would begin displaying their back-to-school sales (Christmas will be here soon, too!). But unfortunately, the time to actually go back to school has officially arrived, and we're much less excited about it than we were about the premature sales.
It’s fun to imagine how new technology will change the world, but very rarely are our wild and vivid predictions spot on. We’re still not traveling via hovercraft as Marty McFly suggested, and, thankfully, we don’t have thought police, as predicted by George Orwell in 1984 (although we do have Honey Boo Boo, so I guess it’s a wash).
Please stick to swimming and being ridiculously attractive. The men and women of this nation are begging you. You've proven yourself as an incredibly talented Olympic athlete, and you've proven yourself...well, uh, physically. So let’s just keep it at that, shall we?
Twi-hards had their twi-hearts twi-broken when "trampire" Kristen Stewart cheated on longtime boyfriend Robert Pattinson. I wasn’t there, but I heard K. Stew's apology went something like, “Uh…er um…like…like, totally,” and R. Patt’s response was something like, “We, uh….eh…bee bop-bop tiddly boop,” and then they stared at each other for a long, awkward period of time.
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