An Open Letter to My Son

To My Son:

This weekend I celebrate my first Father's Day, and it's pretty surreal. You came into my life a little bit earlier than I expected and quite frankly I don't think I was ready. When you were born and I heard you cry, a wave of emotion hit me like I never felt before. It's a feeling I will never forget. I teared up with joy, but my joy quickly turned to terror when they told me you were having trouble breathing.Luckily, the staff at Sister's Hospital nursed you back to health quickly. 5 months later I still don't know if I'm good at being a Dad, but I'm happy you're a strong, healthy boy. Every day you make Daddy proud. Not only did you show you were a fighter when you came into this world, you continue to show me the wonders of life.

I don't know what's better, when I first see you smile at me in the morning or when you smile at me when I come home after a long day of work. I was lucky enough to be there the first time you giggled, and you made me feel like the funniest person in the world. I know it won't always be this way, especially when you're older and I embarass you with some lame jokes in front of your friends. So I guess I'll cherish those moments now.

Every night when I get home I crank up Jack FM and sing and dance for you. It looks really silly, and the neighbors think I'm pitchy, but I love music and plan on sharing that with you as you grow up. Sometimes I make up inappropriate lyrics to the songs, and wonder how much longer I can get away with that before it bites me in the ass, er, dupa.

Did you know the first song you heard was the Beatles "Here Comes the Sun"? I had to lay the right musical foundation, don't worry you'll hear Van Halen soon enough.  And if you ever want to hurt your Daddy, listen to Lil' Wayne.

After your bath we spend some quality time together. You get your bottle and usually fall asleep on my chest with your little hands wrapped around my neck and shoulder and contently coo for me.  This could be my favorite thing in the world.

Last week you held your bottle on your own for the first time, it was a first for me too. The first official thing I showed you how to do. I don't know why that was so thrilling. Probably because there are so many other things I want to show you like throwing a ball and playing guitar. But I need to slow down and treasure the moments now.

I've never been a good sleeper, and it's nice to see you've inherited that trait from me. That, my son, is what's called being facetious (but we'll pick that up when you're in school). At least I was able to save money on a gym membership, because I've tried everything to make you fall asleep, even if it means bouncing like an idiot on an exercise ball.

I've never been so tired. But it's worth it. Your mommy sacrifices so much, feeding you in the middle of the night when I have to work in the morning. She's probably more tired than me. But I do what I can, especially on the weekends. That's our time. I always try to help out even if it means sleepwalking to your crib to change you. (Sorry about that time I forgot to put your diaper back on).

Your mommy left her job so she could spend the entire day with you. She couldn't bare to leave you. I wish I didn't work so much. I miss a lot. I keep your picture on my desk to remind me that my job is a means to a better life and not life itself. It's a work in progress. I'm a bit of a workaholic, but I'm trying . I want so much to provide for you and your mommy and give you a great life. I would do anything for you, just like my father did for me, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness at times.

I have so much more I want to tell you, but you're crying again. Time to get a few reps on the exercise ball. Daddy, loves you.