The temperature is supposed to reach near 80 degrees this weekend*. Awesome. If this was normal for fall, I’d be all about celebrating the season.

But lately, the weather’s been truly fall-like, which leads me to the question, why does everyone like fall so much?

Here is what I love about fall:

  • Football starts.
  • Hockey starts.
  • Pumpkins.
  • I get to dabble in my extensive boot collection.
  • My friends who had the summer off go back to work.

That’s a pretty good list, right? Fall is OK. But I am definitely not the person who wishes it would come sooner, because here’s what I hate about fall:

  • It’s colder. Sometimes super cold. (Have you been shivering at night this week, like me?)
  • The weather overall sucks. My poor friend’s wedding was ruined last weekend by rain, winds and frigid temperatures.
  • Sure the leaves are pretty, but it’s really a way for the trees to express their distress—they’re dying!
  • Cooties. Lots and lots of cooties. I should not already be sick.
  • Winter is next, there’s no stopping it.
  • Jackets, hats, umbrellas, etc. Sure, I love my bright orange fall jacket, but I like it a lot better when I don’t have to bundle up.
  • I can’t sleep with my windows open.
  • We don’t grill as much and instead cook things like casseroles and other meals that make you a little pudgier.
  • My husband turned on the heat, despite my “No heat until November” rule. I don’t know about you, but having the furnace running eight months out of the year is not only depressing, but also expensive.

It’s looking like the bad outweighs the good. And with the prolonged cold weather we have in this area, I can’t believe anyone would wish it would come sooner. So I will be thoroughly enjoying these last days of sunshine and warmth. And anyone who complains about it being “too warm” will get bitch slapped.

*I feel that weathermen and women only get it right when they’re predicting bad weather. Hopefully they don’t let me down this weekend.