10 Signs That Gas Prices Have Gotten Completely Out of Control
Anyone who has a car and a reason to go somewhere may have experienced a little weight loss this month. It’s not because they’ve been power walking, watching what they eat or doing more activities that don’t involve the use of a Snuggie. It’s because their wallets and purses weigh a lot less.
We’re paying over $4.00 for a gallon here in Western New York and the latest national averages according to the Daily Fuel Gauge Report is $3.76 for a gallon of regular gas. For that price, gas stations should also give you a car to go with it. Gas prices are so bad, that Jack FM is trying to save money by making only right turns in our promotions van. We’re not against cutting holes in the floor and doing the Flintstone’s thing or powering the damn thing with Interns on bicycles.
The truly scary part is the prices are bound to only get worse from here, so here are some signs that prices have gotten way out of hand.
1. At a campaign stop, Mitt Romney asks for donations just so he can fill up his car.
2. For customers who can’t pay, gas stations have started accepting human organs as currency.
3. Rednecks are reporting less UFO sightings because even the aliens can’t afford the trip back.
4. Donald Trump has to cut back on his expensive grooming regime, causing his hair to go on strike.
5. The state with the highest number of Prius drivers? Texas.
6. Topping off the tank means your kids either get braces or go to college.
7. The guys on ‘Jersey Shore’ have to cut back on so much chest grease in each episode that there’s no longer a glare on the screen.
8. The president of Texaco laments the fact that people “only have two arms and two legs.”
9. Chevy’s new energy efficient vehicle is a horse.
10. “The 1 percent” is just one guy.