10 Foods More Disgusting Than Bull Testicle Beer
Last week we found out that bull testicle beer is actually a real thing. So, being the one-uppers we are here at Jack FM, we just had to see if we could find foods and beverages that sound even MORE disgusting than bull testicle beer. And guess what? We did.
Yes, the name of this beverage is to be taken literally. It’s beer made out of yeast from a man’s beard. The brewery responsible for this creation was having some trouble harvesting a new yeast strain, so naturally, they turned to a man that hasn’t shaved since 1978 which TOTALLY makes sense, right? They plucked nine follicles from his beard, and viola! Beer. Dry-heaving and violent gagging included in price!
Sure, bacon might be one of the most popular breakfast items, but did we really need to liquefy it? As if alcohol doesn’t already have enough calories. Bacon vodka is made by pouring 4 ounces of bacon fat in a fifth of vodka, stirring, freezing and then scraping the solidified blubber off the top. They even have a delicious-sounding name for this process: fat-washing.
Next time you buy pudding, you might want to make sure you’re not buying black pudding, a.k.a. “blood sausage.” Black pudding is made by cooking blood with something like cornmeal, bread, meat or a sweet potato until it becomes thick enough to congeal when cooled. You can use pig’s blood, sheep’s blood, duck’s blood or pretty much whatever blood you want! Oh, the choices!
You know how you occasionally get a craving for some fermented horse milk? No? Oh.
Whiskey infused with snake venom, flavoring ingredients like chile peppers or ginseng and, not to mention, WHOLE SNAKES is a beverage that’s definitely not NSFHH (not safe for happy hour).
This food is basically exactly what it sounds like — poor little turtles in toast-smearing form. Treasured for its ability to “nourish yin,” turtle jelly also happens to make a delicious dessert in the Chinese culture.
Next time you go to Tim Hortons, ask for the coffee beans that have been excreted by animals. When the barista stares back at you in horror, just be like, “You heard me! I want the beans that are made of animal poo!” Then the barista will be like, “Uh…how about an iced latte?”
Pizza and beer has always been the perfect combo for a Friday night, but perhaps not in the same mouthful. Still, the folks over at Mamma Mia! had a different opinion. Pizza beer is made by mashing up a margarita pizza, soaking it in water and filtering it into a pot to be boiled. Spices and hops are added, and after a few weeks of fermentation, it’s pizza beer. Yum?
“Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants.” My neighbor’s totally cool about lending me eggs and flour, but I’m not sure how he’ll feel when I ask to borrow a cup of semen.
Fried Peanut Butter & Jelly on a Stick
Totallllllyyyyy kidding. This sounds amazing.